I have cancer and the chemo has taxed my heart so...
I have cancer and the chemo has taxed my heart so badly that I now have heart failure. They have put me on lisinopril to try to strengthen my Weak heart. In the last few weeks I have noticed a serious bout of depression and irrational thoughts. I get very angry very quickly and can cry the deepest sobs at the drop of a hat, for no real reason. My reactions are completely over-the-top, in proportional to the stimuli and completely overwhelming. I have been on antidepressants for the last seven years since the first time I had cancer but it doesn't seem to be helping. Perhaps it's time to up the dose or add a new antidepressant to counteract whatever the side effects are from the lisinopril. I also lost my period from chemo two months ago. I'm having hot flashes and it's quite possible that I'm going into perimenopause and that the depression and mood swings and suicidal thoughts could be coming from that as well. Or Perhaps it's just the months of being tortured with chemo and surgery that is bringing me down. I'm not really sure how to pinpoint it but I do know that I feel horrible and I think I need to try to figure out where it's coming from and/or how to make it better. My emotions are completely out of control and I'm not sure what to do about it . I want to scream at everyone, break things, burn the world down and then just cry myself to sleep while thinking about how if I killed I self I wouldn't have to be sick anymore or keep fighting. It would all just go away. I could go be with my dad in peace. No more crying. No more heart breaks. No more fighting. And all the people that have abandoned me, hurt me, ignored me or wronged me would finally suffer just a little from guilt. These are not sane, rational thoughts. Can anyway shed any light on their experience or offer any sound advice?
Post created 1 week 6 days ago
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